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The Lamp

In your daily adventures out in the forest looking about for monsters to slay and ruins to loot and maidens to save you come across a beautiful waterfall. The water has a shadow cast over it at the bottom and you think there might be a cave. Shimmying along the rocks on the edge of the cliff-side next to the waterfall you identify an ancient and crumbling makeshift path that goes behind this raging torrent.

The standing water in the cave gives off the somewhat nostalgic smell of a laundry room. Pressing deeper the atmosphere turns more and more serene and, rounding a corner, you come upon a large rounded chamber. The walls here have been smoothed, the ground raised some, and on a nicely carved stone plinth sits a magnificent Turkish lamp. Undoubtedly a genie! What luck! Approaching the lamp you give it a bit of the elbow grease and the ripped genie comes out of the lamp with a swoosh! He shouts, “Aaaaah! There is no God but God and Arnold is his prophet,” giving his most muscular. He gives you a saucy wink.

He then bellows, “Unlike most genies, with me you don’t get your free choice of wish. I open before you a new fork in your path. I know that you are deeply inspired to be a great ruler. But what if I offered you the opportunity to have the wife of your dreams, a beautiful piece of property of such magnificence you cannot begin to imagine, a house of such cozy comfort that it would make even the most hygge Dane feel his loft was a bum’s cardboard box… all in exchange for your disavowal of your path?”

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